The Movie Playing in My Head

I showed up expecting a thoughtfully curated, intentional weekend—and walked into a relaxed, unstructured getaway.

Recently, I arrived at a gathering of wonderful women at one of my favorite places, the West Point Inn. In my mind, I had already pictured how the weekend would unfold.

The opening scene included thoughtful conversations, a few meaningful exercises, spacious time in nature, and gentle facilitation that would help us connect more deeply—with one another and with ourselves.

It was going to be intentional.

The funny thing was, everyone else had something entirely different in mind.

Their version was simple: friends gathering, relaxing, laughing, cooking together, hiking, and enjoying an unstructured weekend.

Neither vision was wrong.

They were simply different.

For a little while, you could feel the friction. Nothing dramatic—just that subtle tension that arises when people are operating from different expectations.

Eventually, we laughed about it. We adjusted. We found our rhythm. In the end, the weekend became exactly what it needed to become.

But it reminded me of one of the simplest truths I know:

Much of life’s disappointment comes from unspoken expectations.

We all carry invisible stories in our heads.

The story of how a vacation will go.
The story of how our spouse should respond.
The story of how a meeting should unfold.
The story of what retirement will feel like.
The story of what our birthday, our children, our friendships, or even our careers are supposed to look like.

The challenge is that nobody else knows the version we’ve imagined.

They’re living out their own expectations.

And when those two perspectives collide, we often call it disappointment.

But disappointment isn’t always caused by bad intentions.

Often it’s simply the distance between expectation and reality.

I’ve become convinced that one of the greatest gifts we can give another person is clarity.

Say what you’re hoping for.

Describe the experience you’re imagining.

Ask what they’re expecting.

Those conversations may feel unnecessary—or even awkward—but they’re almost always easier than cleaning up the disappointment afterward.

This doesn’t mean controlling every moment.

Some of life’s greatest adventures happen because we leave room for surprise.

But there is a difference between leaving space for emergence and assuming everyone shares the same vision.

Clarity creates freedom.

When expectations are spoken aloud, people can choose.

They can enthusiastically say yes.

They can suggest another direction.

Or together, you can create something entirely new—often better than either of you imagined.

I’ve started asking myself a simple question whenever I notice frustration creeping in:

“What movie am I expecting…and does anyone else know they’re supposed to be in it?”

That question has saved me from countless unnecessary disappointments.

Life is too short to spend it frustrated that other people didn’t meet expectations we never shared.

Create the experience together.

Then enjoy it as it unfolds.

Live Bright Challenge

This week, notice where you feel disappointed, irritated, or misunderstood.

Before assuming someone let you down, ask yourself:

What movie was playing in my head?

And then ask someone else:

“What were you expecting?”

You may discover that no one was wrong.

You were simply seeing things differently.

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